Light at the end of the tunnel …. maybe.

It’s been a tricky few weeks on a personal level. Some issues arose which were not of my doing which meant I have been far from my best. In truth, I’m still not feeling myself and I am still quite low. Events made me wonder whether anything was worth the effort on not. I’m still not sure on that one but at least I can see the possibility of things getting better even if it’s not yet happened.

Right now, I’m living a lie. I put on a mask of all being well and in reality that’s far from the truth. I’ve been hurt in a way that saps away any joy in anything. That needs to change for I can not stay living a sham existence forever. How I’m going to change this is yet to be known though. Maybe I need to think more about me as it’s clear that nobody else does a lot of time. No matter how hard I try, I’m always wrong or in the wrong, so perhaps I should not try at all. Maybe I just need to let go those people who hurt me and concentrate on those who don’t. Maybe I need a better balance in life and take more time for myself rather than rush around trying to look after others who really need to look after themselves.

I’m just tired, so tired of being there for people and getting dumped on by those I try to help. The problem is I do like to try to make a difference. Maybe I just need to give up on that too…..

admin posted at 2013-6-20 Category: Rants